My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
