i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
