I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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