YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
