I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
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