So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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