I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
