I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom