Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.