I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
