Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?