I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Rumble strips road head = magical
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
