i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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