just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
