I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
