Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
