She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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