He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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