Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
