So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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