singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
