I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
