I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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