somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
