If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The power of my boobs compel you
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
