I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
zippers are such a cool invention
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I have aggressive nipples.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
