Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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