and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
