evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
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We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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