VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
