it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
