We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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