you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize