WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
