dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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