I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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