i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
