I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
