I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
