I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
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I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
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If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
how drunk are you?
Several
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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