it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
