they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
