He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
