I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
