How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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