Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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