The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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