How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
