I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
