finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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