He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
