i don't like sucking hair
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
