Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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