We're like a lot better than the average bears
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
