Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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