Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
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He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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