There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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