we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
