He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
