How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
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The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
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Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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