I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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