So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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