Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
