at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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