I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
