Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
