My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
