I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
