Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
