There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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